Tuesday, November 10, 2009

And then, life started...

I wonder when in ones life can one actually say or think 'now my life has begun'. When does life start?
Is it when one is born? hmmm...I'm not so sure. I'm pretty sure the moment I was born my first thought would have been that of a person suffering from memory loss - where am i? who are these people in weird looking things? Why is it so cold suddenly? I'm just guessing..:-)

SO, back to the question, sometimes people tell me (mostly friends) once they fall in love, they tell me while looking into the sky - dude, now I know what living is all about, this is it. Really?

I know the feeling of love is amazing and it does make one feel alive to the core...but..it cant be the only thing in the world which makes me go yeah, now I'm living.

I personally feel alive when I'm on the edge. whats that?

That is, when I jump off a cliff with a parachute strapped to my back or when I jumped out a plane sky diving. Even when I first saw a battery of 6 Indian Bofors Artillery guns fire into the heights...that sound..those thuds. wow.
I am most alive, though, when I'm banking a turn at a really steep angle on my bike and just reaching the apex of the turn, knowing that this turn is gonna go well and seeing that there is an empty road ahead :-)

But all these are moments, moments when I feel my blood raging through my veins, adrenaline if I may. Parts of my life when i feel like i am living..that's all...experiences.

So this too doesn't answer my question.

Maybe life starts, like really starts when one settles down..you know with a job and a family and all...(Holy crap! I'm outta here! :P). That is what the previous generation mostly believes in - Ladka bada ho gaya hai, koi ladki dekhi ki nahi? and for the first time I will see my mom actually think about the question from the older lady and then look at me for a cue. Man! that will be one day i don't want to see! This is futile..

So, when is it hmm? When can I actually tell myself - yup, this it bro..life has begun?
When i have the ideal 10 car garage I've always wanted...maybe. When I've done so much that i don't need to worry about the bank statement getting me all worked up..donno.
Then again - all these things are...well, things. Material stuff...I don't think this would work in making me feel life is now awesome.

Some say, meditation and godly deeds make one a better being...well, better human - given but alive? I really don't think so, though the fundamentalists might claim otherwise. Wont work for me.

You know what? May be the day I've seen the world...yeah that could be it. You know when I've seen everything I could possibly want to and experienced all what I should, the kind of guy I am.
But is this really possible in one lifetime? Highly debatable is what it is.

Mr. God up there (if he's there) was shrewd enough to leave us all just enough time not to be able to experience everything there is to in the world. Can't say its a smart move on his part - I'd sure love to see and experience everything, from A to Z. This too doesn't seem like it could come true, though I'm still keeping my options open :D.

May be, there is something wrong in my question or the way I asked myself for the answer, probably. Again, they taught us, no question is ever wrong. so, now what?

Sigh....I donno man. I'm not confused, I'm just not sure.

I should probably wait for this one to answer itself, I just hope I know it the moment my life answers this for me.

Boy! I cant wait to start Living :-).


Shill said...

We are born, we're live.. but whn do we start living?? very good question... We start living when the tiny little voice inside you starts influencing your actions, more than your parents, sibling, friends or your better half. We start to live when we discover ourselves.. you might be surprised when you yourself break your own expectations.. now go live! :)

Shooter said...

hehe...i agree.

Akanksha said...

Living is like loving...u never know untill u experience it (even though ppl keep trying defining love its always a very subjective thing). It is a Eureka moment - so, keep observing, u never know whn and in what you find life!